Seven steps to the future
When all is doom and gloom it is easier to get despondent, to give up to blame others, to feel aggrieved, to feel depressed ( a much incorrectly & overused term), to stop trying, to leave things for others to sort out.
So why do we feel tired and lethargic from all the things we are not doing, logically we should have lots of energy--- but we don’t Why? Because all those negative things sap our energy far more than positive feelings; we put a lot of emotional energy into being the victim, into feeling powerless and thus we convince ourselves that we don’t have the energy to fight back.
We “get ourselves into a state” and that state is one that we do not want to be in but it is one that is so self convincing that we cannot find the way out. It’s almost like walking along a country path and finding the vegetation closing in behind us so that we can’t turn back.
So, what to do?
There is always power, there is always a way. Clearly if the path you came along is now overgrown hacking your way through the growth to get back where you were is pointless--- mainly because you are trying to go back to the start of the route that got you where you are now. There is a phrase “Never look back” and there are circumstances where this is good advice. If you are in a depressed state you are not well equipped to start analysing anything because you are lacking the energy to do this effectively.
Step one:- Accept where you are NOW—look around, take stock of everything around you, friends, family, relationships, home, money, interests, skills, resources, look too at the environment you inhabit. Make lists, maybe ask others how they see your life – you might be surprised, shocked, warmed by what they see. If it helps make notes about this too. Put them on the table and compare. If you have artistic ability create an image of how you see yourself and then draw the image that others describe, put them side by side.
Step two Knowing where you are now consider three ways forward—if it helps pretend that you are looking at the evidence of someone else and advise them on three possible futures—they can be as bright or as bleak as the evidence indicates. These futures need to be formed seriously but they can have aspiration and imagination at their core.
All the options are equally valid at this stage, so there is no need to rank or compare them
Step three
a. Look at those three options and check to see which of the resources that you identified in step one have not been used .
b. Make a note of them, consider why they do not feature anywhere
c. Think how they could be incorporated and how they could be used to improve the outcome of any or all of the options.
Step four Look at the three options and identify what skills, resources, conditions would be needed to make them viable, real “do able”. For this you may need to consider timescales, emotional input, commitment etc. along with everything you already listed if these have not already been considered.
Step five Put the three options side by side with all the supporting evidence on a table and then read each one as if you were assessing them as an impartial judge. Give an honest critique of each one along with any recommendations or suggestions for improvement. If you feel one option is more desirable, give reasons, explain the benefits that will accrue from this option and compare the possible benefits of the others to prove your argument.
You now have at least one realistic way forward
Step six Imagine a point in time six or twelve months hence where you had carried out the winning option. Make a note of what would be different about you at that point:- how would you feel, look, sound, what would others notice as being different. What would your surroundings look like, in what way have your reactions changed. What would you have gained.
Step seven Describe that new person – use images, use words, use sounds or whatever medium you prefer to express what that person is. Go into as much detail as possible and create as full an image as possible—literally look at them from every angle. Know what their life is really like
This is your life and you have just worked out how to make it happen
