Patterns of thinking
The way we are programmed affects what we believe, how we feel, what we do.
So that ideas and instructions from our earliest days form the basis of every aspect of our current ,”being and doing”
What we need to recognise is that things change, and so we need to change too and to realise that such change is a good thing. We feel, often, that change is abandoning something, with the additional belief that what has served us well in the past is serving us well now and will do in the future. That is a strong belief for many but it is not possible that it is true in every situation.
Life is about evolving, starting with a small child’s knowledge and growing it constantly to inform the choices we make, the things we value, the things we believe about the world and ourselves. Initially we are like sponges soaking up everything we see, hear , taste, smell, feel, without question because we do not question anything. With maturity we begin to analyse, compare, accept, reject. That process never ends and if we stop at a certain point and think we are “Set for life” we will quickly find ourselves struggling to function in an ever more complex and exciting world. New situations require us to use past experience with the addition of new learning to reach a point of understanding. Maybe we need to find a resolution for something but maybe we also need to learn to accept and be prepared to observe rather than “Wade in”, to assess and to realise that we do not have to take on the responsibility for everything that happens.
Looking back at television and films of the 1970-80 period many of the attitudes that were held towards specific groups in the community were very different from the views that are expressed today. But if you were growing up in those times those values are deeply ingrained in your view of the world and everything that you think today refers back to that base line.
It takes conscious effort to re-examine those core beliefs and check if they are suitable for the world of today. You may ask “Why should I change?” and the simple answer is that if your views and opinions are greatly at variance with those of the people around you there is likely to be emotional, verbal or even physical conflict resulting. I am not suggesting that anyone changes their beliefs to fit the majority nor to compromise what they truly believe but I am suggesting that those “Taken for granted” beliefs are dusted off from time to time to see if they are still current and fit for purpose.
As an adult you have far more information available to you than you did when you were forming your belief system. Imagine for a moment that, you, today, are being controlled by a 2-3-4 year old or even a 12,15, 17 year old version of you, doing what they say, acting as they act, seeing things from their limited perspective? How would it feel ? In reality you may be doing just that without seeing it. No-one particularly wants to be old, or to be thought to be old but what is old anyway –at 16 you probably felt a 20year old was grown up, at 20 you thought anyone over 30 was past the age of being up to date with fashion and trends and so it will go on as each decade unfolds.
To cope with life at each stage you need to value the growing amount of life experience you have, to throw out some of the ideas that have proved over time unhelpful and to notice the ones that enrich and inform your current life.
I can help you sort out which beliefs are causing you stress and discomfort. I can guide you towards ways of thinking that enable you to reconsider the framework of beliefs that govern your thoughts and actions so that you can resolve difficulties that are disrupting your well being.
Contact me to arrange a time when we can discuss the specific concerns that you want to address and resolve.
