We have thoughts in our heads about all sorts of things. Sometimes we get fixated on individual thoughts and make them bigger, more important more immediate. We then feel that these thoughts need to be satisfied in some way. Either dismissed, noted and left on the sidelines or acted upon.
From that comes another level we transform thoughts into wants, desires and needs. Wants are not very compelling in fact want implies its desirable but not likely to be achievable, though the faint possibility justifies the attention it gets. Desires are those things we think we want, usually because they carry some benefit for us a better job, particular clothes, certain food or drink, possessions again things that “It would be nice to have” there is an expectation of pleasure to go with attaining these items. The final layer is needs again implicitly the word denotes that such things are essential for our continuance , on some level.
Where we get problems is where wants and desires slip into the needs folder and get elevated in importance way beyond what is reasonable or necessary. The belief that those lesser greade things are essential then distorts the real needs. We know we can survive if our needs are met. When other things get mis-classified as needs we have to do so much more to satisfy this much greater shopping list of needs. To make all those needs get ticked off as achieved we may have to work harder, longer, we may have to push other aspects of life into the background upsetting family, friends, social life, maybe becoming less good at our jobs because rather then enjoying the career we jhave we only focus on the materialistic elements and forego job satisfaction and social interaction.
In time this compounds, the needs become millstones and we have neither time nor energy to enjoy the products of that striving. Even the satisfaction of those needs is not enough because having struggled so long to reach the goal the result is never enough- we want more bigger, better so in addition to being unhappy until we reach our goal the goal itself is a disappointment and we seek higher harder goals to give us the high we were expecting but not finding.
Sitting down – physically or metaphorically and drawing a list of wants, desires and needs lets us evaluate what we have, what we want and what we need. Seeing that information written down makes it more real--- allows us to move things about, maybe even delete things that have passed their desirability shelf life. Clearing out and starting afresh reinforces what is important and gives greater impetus to achieve and gives the space in which to do it because the “Not” needs have been swept away. Part of this process also includes acknowledging what we have gained in the process so far because in the mad scramble to achieve we tend not to give ourselves credit for what we have created on the way to the goal.
If this is too difficult to do alone call me—make an appointment and I will help you through the process with the aid of hypnosis, a pleasant therapy that helps you be more efficient in attaining your needs recognising wants and managing desires.
