There are many and varied issues for modern man, in some ways the rise of the metrosexual, the modern man, the changing values and social rules make things harder not easier. Some guys are wary of asking questions of other guys in case they are misread. Many are still not at ease sharing their thoughts and feelings with others and have difficulty expressing themselves. This lack of answers leads to unneccessary worries and concerns. Am I like others, do others think like me, do others have the same worries--- YES THEY DO
Below are some of the answers to those unspoken question-- you supply the question if that helps
Guys go to the gym to impress other guys more than girls
Guys go to the gym to build their bodies so that they feel more confident
Going to the gym is more about validating themselves as men--- defining themselves by managing their appearance, proving that they can change their body appearance gives them a feeling of having control over something
Self confidence comes from self control—i.e. being able to control who you are, how big you are., how good a team member you are
Some guys use supplements to enhance their potential growth.
Some use energy drinks to allow them to work harder longer—thus build more
Some use steroids to get fast results
Some look down on steroid boys because their growth is “Fake”
Some wear baggy clothes to cover their lack of definition, some wear tight clothes to show off what they have achieved
Guys look at guys --- nothing to do with sexuality
Guys discuss their progress compare strategies /training plans—gives them a confidence in being able to advise others
Older guys are not dismissed if they are fit--- newer guys learn from them and want to be seen to be learning so big guys get attention from small guys again nothing sexual its more primeval-- wanting to be strong/ powerful/ leader of the pack
Big guys, at the gym, like this attention and it gives them a chance to interact with others without the threat of violence developing.
Big guys on the club / pub scene are large and obvious targets for smaller guys whose courage comes out of a bottle. Smaller guys feel intimidated /inferior and feel they need to prove themselves.
Men of all sexualities have the same concerns.
Gay guys want to be accepted in the str8 world and to be admired on the gay scene
Str8 guys want to look good compared with other guys
All are looking to be attractive to someone ( or many)
Grooming
Guys trim pubes to make their genitals look bigger
Guys say girls prefer smooth guys ; that may be true or maybe girls feel that since they perceive that guys want them to be similarly groomed they expect the guys to go through the same process
Hair – another area of control—choosing an image to portray, using style to express either who they are /who they want to be/ who they think others want them to be.
Style is an element of fitting in—picking a tribe ( involves clothes / music/ area of residence/ social class/ politics /even food choices)
Defence
Adopting an image is a defence it is a means of telling people “This is who / what I am” it identifies them with social groups, ensures acceptance in certain circumstances.
Socially isolated individuals migrate to extreme images – skinheads ----- goths
Extreme violent as a defence against attack to Extreme fashion ( lots of black) to scare people off . This does not mean that all skinheads are violent or that all goths want to keep people at bay but these extreme images have a function for some individuals.
Ultra camp is a defence—saying to insecure straight lads “I am so different you couldn’t be mistaken for me.” Insecure straight lads will be friendly to extreme camp guys because they do not appear to be a threat and perhaps even bolster them as more macho in comparison.
Increasingly it would appear that men and women are more body conscious, the problems that arise for either sex when an individual lacks confidence. They look to the body as a shield--- create an outward appearance of beauty /strength/ happiness/ success believing that will prevent people seeing the inner insecurities.
This works --- for a time—problems arise when the effort to create and maintain the shield takes over. Creating the shield is ok as a temporary measure while sorting out the insecurities but if the mask is the only concern then the insecurities grow and grow. If the image and the mask begin to fade that adds to the insecurities more and at that point serious mental and physical health problems develop to critical levels.
If you are worried about your image take a little time to sit and think about why image is so important----what it does for you--- why you need that image.
Every day you grow as a person:- experiences develop and enrich you so you never stay as you were a year--- 2 years---5years ago, you are the you of today.
Also consider that over time your inner needs change so perhaps the image needs to change too.
Are you trying to grow into an image or do you want an image that reflects the real you???
If you need help with any of this contact me---- ask questions-- make an appointment--- details on the contact page.